ive been waiting for this batch of new phones for a looooong time...
and my god, are. they. BEAUTIFUL.
if these phones could actually work in America, i would buy them even if they are like $400-500 each. because its worth the money.
but this is also what pisses me off the most about Japan and the US.
Japan has the world's most AMAZING phones, as well as a closed market.
US has shitty phones, and pretends to be a technologically advanced country.
it just doesnt make sense.
it almost makes me want to pound the table in frustration.
i dont understand why Japan is holding itself back from such a wonderful money-making opportunity. Im not even talking about releasing the whole batch of Docomo's STYLE series. I'm talking about just ONE phone. If Docomo would just release one of its phones... (say the N-01B) it would make MILLIONS. I mean... me and everyone i know would buy it. Hell, give me one in every color. I'll take what I can get.
but then again... US's telecommunications system is a piece of shit. it wouldnt be able to support all the services that the phone is capable of providing. America sucks.
UGH... Just another silly reason for me to move back to HK
(which ive been thinking about recently)
BETTER PHONES.
BETTER FOOD.
BETTER EVERYTHING.
AND its closer to JP, which means cheaper air tickets
Which also means that i can go to every Takki event.
and now i gotta do it all + two essays before Monday.
Orz
im starting to wonder if i should really be in college!!
Jili-chan tried to cheer me up yesterday when we got our tests back.
she said "Its not that u're getting dumber. Cause you've gotta be smart to get into this college. Its just that we're not used to being put in an environment where everyone is just as smart or smarter than we are."
sighhhh~
but seriously, now that i think about it... theres a good chance that we wont remember or be able to use most of the stuff that we've learned throughout our educational career. And employers dont look at grades either - they only look at what degrees you have on your resume. But what they care most about is working experience. So if thats the case, then why am I paying all this money and why the hell am i putting myself through all this pressure and work if its not even going to matter two, three years from now?
it just doesnt make sense anymore.
i mean, it probably makes sense for people who already know what they wanna do (and can do) when they get out of college. But for people like me, it just feels like I'm wasting my time with all these books and essays and lectures that aren't going to really preparing me for the "real" world, nor is it really helping me determine what options are available to me.
the only thing that has been determined is the fact that i'm really confused about where I am and the direction that i should be heading! THUDS.
One thing that I learned from my Japanese anthropology class is... the fact that if you do not have Japanese blood running through your veins, you will never become one of them, even if you're able to master its language and cultural customs.
When Professor Arai tried to explain that us (September 2008), I remember thinking "Isn't that the same with every culture? And how convincing, coming from a white woman who's married to a Japanese guy and is teaching Japanese anthropology."
But for the first time today, I felt that this theory is hands-down, 100% TRUE.
A few days ago, I got an email from my nihongo sensei about a Japanese job seminar. After missing out on previous Japan-related meetings, I decided to attend this event, especially because it sounded like fun in the email. When i got to Mary Gates Hall, a Japanese guy in a black suit escorted me to the room and standing in front of the door were two other japanese guys who were waiting to get in and a woman who was asking for registration confirmation.
Few hours before this, I had lunch with Jiri-chan and we were practicing our Japanese the entire time. But for some reason, the fact that it was a real Japanese person standing in front of me... i didnt know what to say or how to say "I'm a 4th year student and my teacher sent me an email about this seminar."
instead, i asked - in broken Japanese - if she could talk to me in English.
I felt even more embarrassed when i walked inside the room... not only because my hair and attire looked sloppy due to the heavy rain, but also because i was the ONLY non-japanese person in the room. Everyone else (mainly guys) were in black suits and most of them sat together in the row in front of me...
Um... yea I looked Asian like the rest of them. But the problem is... I'm not one of them!! I felt so... misplaced? like i didnt belong there. So before the seminar had even started, i pretended like i had to make a call and left.
(Not to mention, it seemed more like a formal job interview... with an application that we had to fill out and a test that we had to take at the end of the seminar. The pamphlet that was handed out seemed... propaganda-ish too, to be honest. It was scary with a capital S.)
i walked home and the entire time i was thinking... Wow. Professor Arai was right. Maybe it was the language barrier that sharpened that feeling of displacement... but regardless of what the reason for it was, i still felt that distinct "gap" between nihonjin and gaijin. Something that I had forgotten when I signed up for my Japan-studies major and something that I haven't felt in a long time.
But yet, this is one of the aspects of "Japanese culture" that intrigues me the most.
What does it mean to be Japanese?
Why does this gap still exist despite the fact that
Japan is the most westernized Asian country in the world?
What sets us apart from them and/or vice versa?
and is it really impossible for "gaijin" to be truly accepted into Japanese society?
perhaps i've just found my topic for my dissertation... lol
I'm in one of those moods where I'm beginning to feel like "Fuck this. I don't want to go to college anymore."
It's probably just the beginning-of-a-new-quarter stress that's making me feel this way. But over these past few months, I realized that it's really hard for me to concentrate and to motivate myself. I mean, it has only been a week and a half since school has started and I'm already about to give up.
My senpai, who's a graduate, asked me today if i wanted to continue to grad school and I didn't know how to answer his question because I REALLY DONT KNOW. Of course I want to make my parents proud. That's the only reason why I'm going to college. My friends are all doing pretty well (they have a much larger work load to deal with than I do) and my brother, who graduated college a long time ago, is about to be promoted to captain of a 787. Graduating college can't possibly be that hard if everyone else is able to do it, right?
But for some reason, it's just not working for me.
I realize now that I got amazing grades throughout elementary, middle, high school, and community college because the standards and requirements at those institutes were really low. It was never because I was smart or talented. I had always thought that if I could handle 12 years of schooling, college would be a piece of cake, considering the fact that everyone is always talking about how much they party'd in college. It gave me the impression that I would be totally prepared for it and that it would only be slightly harder than CC.
Not true.
And to make things worse, my parents have always been proud of the fact that my grades have ALWAYS been above a GPA of 3.5. Even though they've never been strict with me and accepted all of my excuses for not doing well on assignments or for not getting a 3.5 or above in college. They were proud of me when I did Running Start and now, whenever they bump into someone that they know, they would brag about how I was allowed to "skip two grades" and how I am expected to graduate by the time I turn 20. Which is not entirely true. I've tried to explain that doing Running Start does not = skipping a grade or two. It just means that I took my university prerequisites at a junior college, which was less challenging and also much cheaper, so that when I actually got into UW, I had already finished half my credits and all that's left for me to do is to fill up the remaining half with credits that pertain to my major.
But they don't really get it and their hopes of seeing me graduate two years earlier than expected is just making me feel even more stressed out about my situation.
I just feel like I'm letting them down with the little progress that I've been making.
What really struck me was... today, in one of my hard classes about Japan's International Relations, I couldn't understand or follow the discussion that everyone was having about the readings that we had to do. It's not that I wasn't paying attention and it wasn't that I didn't do the readings. I was paying attention and I've been doing the readings everyday, highlighting the the text as I went along.
But I just couldn't process any of it.
Nor could i remember anything that I had read the night before.
My professor and the discussion-leaders talked about things that I didn't even think about. The entire time I asked myself, "Where did they come up with that? and why the hell didn't I see that while I was reading?"
sigh....
"Going to school is a lot easier than going to work." I've heard that my entire life. It's like what everyone says when listening to a friend rant about their college workload. I have never had a job, so I wouldn't know. But sometimes, I really wonder if it's true.
It's been a year since I've been a full time student... not really used to the pace and the stress of having a heavier workload... Though, it's probably cause I am taking two really hard classes (with two really strict professors) and 4th year Japanese, which is mainly about self-studying.
Sigh... High school and community college didn't prepare me for university at all, so when I got low GPAs in my first quarter at UW, i got really discouraged. It's not that I didnt try. Lorddd, I squeezed out all the brain juice that I had and wrote eight essays in a week. But it wasn't enough. And I got really pissed! It felt like... what's the point in working so hard, if it's never going to be good enough anyways??
But over the summer, I realized that my "stress" is really NOTHING compared to some of my friends who have to work, go to school, and maintain a social life, all at the same time. And I'm complaining even though i have a shit load of free time on my hands? Etto... I think I definitely have to pick up the pace and try to motivate myself more... especially when there are so many opportunities available to me right now.
Though, there's still the question of... what I can do with my future.
I don't regret majoring in Japan studies...
After all, if I'm going to spend all this money and time on a subject,
it might as well be something that I'm actually interested in.
its just... um... who the hell is going to hire me when I graduate??
I've thought about switching my major to something that would be more beneficial to me when I have to start looking for a job - like medicine or computer engineering. But god knows that i have no interest in any of those things. And if I change my major now, it would seem like a total waste of all the time that I've already spent... If I do two majors... I'm afraid that I'll stress myself out too much... even though, it'll make my parents proud... Of course I would like to be the first girl in my family to get a MA at such an early age. But getting a MA at UW would be like sending myself straight to the depths of hell. But I don't want to go to another school because it might not have the same level of reputation and prestige as UW... and my pride would never be able to handle that lol
Honestly, I've thought about it for so long... and right now, what I want to do... is graduate next year. But before that, I want to see if I can get into an exchange program to Japan. If I cant, then after I graduate, I'll look at my options and try working and see what I can do with the BA that I already have. If it doesn't work out, then I'll just go back to school...
and Chiharu-san has just topped Nagisa on the "Lucky Co-star" list!!
First his munchable arms
Then the molesting of Ryuzaki-sama's chest!!
€’€Ώ€·€βΏ¨€κ€Ώ€€€£‘Α‘Α‘Α‘‘
un... then the church bomb scene... i was watching it as I was lying down sideways on my bed and when the brothers (yappari ne!!) were fighting and Ryuzaki was trying to push Aoi away from the room, i jumped up and started yelling "You idiot! Your oni-san is trying to save you!! get yo ass out!!"
Then Ryuzaki was pushed into a bookshelf...
and right when Ryuzaki got on top of Aoi-sensei.... BAMMMM!!!
€’‘Α€‘‘ͺΞ΅Ίκ€΅€ή‘ͺ‘ͺ‘ͺ‘ͺ‘ͺ
It's the first time we've seen Takki on a stretcher with a head immobilizer and resuscitation mask ne. Nanka... even though i knew it was all fake, i felt a little worried because it looked so real!! Make-san, you did a superb job~
But when Ryuzaki-sama threw himself off the stretcher, he was sweaty, bloody, half-naked (while still in his suit)... and he was panting....
I remember exactly where I was when I found out about the attacks. That morning, i got to school and lined up against the brick wall outside my 6th grade classroom, waiting for the teacher to come and open the door. The other kids who got there before me were saying things like "I'm going to freak out if I see a plane in the skies today" and i remember being confused as to why they made such a comment. When we got into the classroom, my teacher said that she'll be turning on the news and that we had the option to go outside during the broadcast. I didn't know what was going on because at home, we don't usually watch the news in the morning... so i was like "Why the hell not. We get to skip out on math and watch TV instead!" And so I stayed.
And then... I saw the footage of the twin towers coming down.
What I saw was totally beyond what i had expected.
And then everything started making sense.
I mean, it was real. But it seemed so surreal at the same time. Why would (and more importantly, HOW COULD) anyone do that? Eight years later and I still can't figure it out. Why all of those lives had to be sacrificed, all because of an irrational decision made by an ignorant group of people.
One incident, two towers, three thousand people killed, a billion more who became affected - physically, mentally, and financially.
And to think that all of it could've been prevented, had the leaders of the United States taken quicker action. I blame the terrorists for causing this catastrophic event, but I believe that the people who were in charge of the safety of this country at the time of the incident should also admit to their mistake. And the fact that the so-called War on Terror (i don't care what fancy name you give it, it is by nature, an act of revenge) has caused more casualties than the actual number of deaths brought by the 911 attacks. But let's not get into that.
But you know... even though the entire thing will always be encompassed with a negative vibe, the only positive thing about it is the fact that it has made us more aware of the world around us... as well as the dangers that could occur at any time and day. It has given us enough of a shock to make us realize that just the state of being ALIVE and healthy is often taken for granted.
I never listen to the song "The World Will Never Forget," but today, i think i'll be keeping it on repeat.
i searched for them like an idiot, trying to google up the brands that were listed in credits... and i was driving myself crazy cause i just couldn't find them!! And then, when i watched Episode 6, i realized the small "D***" on the side of the sunglasses orz
DUH!! CHRISTIAN DIOR!!! thudsss
Probably the most expensive pair of sunglasses that i'll ever buy... but so worth it~ I'm becoming so obsessed with Ryuzaki... He's got that aristocratic, narcissistic kind of attitude, but he's also incredibly smart and knows exactly what people are thinking. I've always liked those kind of kakkoii characters and it kinda brings me back to the days when i was hooked on Sesshomaru from Inuyasha.
Speaking of Takki... I'm glad that Jinsei Kakumei wont be overpowering Takizawa Kakumei. But two roles, two plays, going back and forth between all those shows... Johnny-san is REALLY trying to push his luck with Takki's physical and mental endurance.
And while its an honor to work with Mori Mitsuko-san, I dont really like it when Takki's not the lead actor, which has only happened a couple of times... Biased? Maybe. But it just doesn't feel right to see him NEXT to the spotlight. To me, he only belongs under the main spotlight, right smack-dab in the middle of the stage, in front of all his kouhais.
Mah... since it has already been decided... and since Takki will still be the lead of TK, i'll look forward to it with a positive attitude ^_^
I rarely pray. Mainly because I do not believe in a God and I think its more productive to just do something about the problem at hand. But in uncontrollable situations like these... I am praying tonight that Takki is not infected with H1N1 and will remain perfectly healthy.
This disease doesn't seem as deadly as it did before... but still.
I'm feeling bothered by a whole world of worries right now.
From the day the news about H1N1 was announced,
I've been worried about the possibility of him getting infected.
Especially when he works with such a large group of people everyday!!
So I completely understand how Ryo and YamaP fans must be feeling right now~
I really do hope that the both of them will recover soon!!
Demo ne... I dunno what I'd do if Takki had it too *knocks on wood*
Fly to Japan? Not that I'd be able to see him anyways.
But it'd probably make me feel more at ease knowing that I'm there.
Actually, it just sounds like a lame excuse for me to go XDD
It's probably really silly for me to be so worried!
To whomever I'm praying to, please let the most important person (and people) in my life stay H1N1-free and healthy. I NEED TO KNOW THAT HE IS AND WILL BE OKAY!!
since the very beginning, i thought that Ryuzaki was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. And that Ninomiya was the one who killed the three boys but was scared out of his pants when he realized that Ryuzaki had witnessed the whole thing.
and i was partially right! XD
But now that we know that Ryuzaki was really innocent... i wonder why he actually WANTED to be sentenced to death in the first place. And why did he changed his name to Ryuzaki...
the plot just keeps getting more and more mysterious ne
PS: I LOL'ed when Aoi-sensei said that his family lives in Hachiouji.
